A what?

The UK is the motherland of Canada. We used to be a colony, we still have the English monarch on our money and most Canadians follow the Royal family more closely than the Brits do. So why do I feel like it's an entirely new planet? I mean, c'mon. I used to live here. I'm practically a local(no I'm not), I never get lost anymore (lies), or take the wrong train (I just really wanted to get half way to Edinburgh). So why are accents so difficult? Maybe it's that my ears are getting old or that I have lost the knack but I feel hard of hearing 80% of the time and 100% when a cute boy is around. 





For example the week after Christmas. I'm out shopping in the city with my mom and sister and it starts to pour. We only had a single umbrella between us so I run into a nearby store to buy another. I grab one from just by the entrance and march up to the cash register feeling like a wet Mary Poppins. Cue cute cashier guy, who smiles at me and asks if I have a barker. "A what?" I say smiling. "A barker" he repeats, giving me a strange look. "Ummmm no. I don't know what a barker is." He leaves the till and returns with a new umbrella. Scans the barcode as I clue in like a fool. "Did you say a barcode?" 
And he answers kindly to the slow tourist "Yes"